


Our Lady of Death

by Galaxy_Collector



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Daryl Dixon & Rick Grimes Friendship, Daryl Dixon Needs a Hug, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Gentle Negan (Walking Dead), Insecure Daryl Dixon, Inspired by The Walking Dead, Miscarriage, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Daryl Dixon, Protective Negan (Walking Dead), Slow Burn, Smut, Sweet Negan (Walking Dead), Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:27:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22980976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galaxy_Collector/pseuds/Galaxy_Collector
Summary: When the daughter Negan never knew about, accidentally stumbles on the very community where he’s being held, he must reconcile the newly awakened paternal feelings he has for her and the ones unleashed when she falls for none other than Daryl Dixon.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon & Original Female Character(s), Ezekiel/Carol Peletier, Rick Grimes/Michonne
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

Lucy watched the small squirrel spinning slowly over the fire as she turned it. She wasn’t really paying attention. Her mind was too far off for that. But it gave her a general direction to look in as she thought of all the things that would keep her awake tonight very unintentionally. Being alone all the time forced her to be honest with herself, and her mind was an awful and scary place. It was a wonder she hadn’t gone crazy yet. 

_ Technically _ , she thought,  _ I haven't seen a living person in months. I  _ **_could_ ** _ be crazy. How would I really know? _

She shook her head to keep herself from answering that out loud and tried, instead, to focus on what was around her, taking in all the sounds of the forest going to sleep. It’d been a longer day than most. She’d met two groups of Freaks, which was pretty rare. She thought it might have to do with the fact that she was getting closer and closer to civilization, but she couldn’t know for sure. She had no way to confirm if she was even headed the right way, or what the right way even was anymore. She didn’t dare find a highway either. She’d be a sitting duck, and when she felt vulnerable––really and truly vulnerable––it made her skin crawl. It was the quickest way to get Lucy to act like a caged animal. And a caged Lucy was a dangerous one. 

She shivered, but not from the cold slowly seeping into her bones. She had let that thought get away from her. She knew better, but she’d let it happen anyway. She gave the little woodland creature one more turn before pulling it off the fire and blowing on it. She was too hungry for much else as she took a huge bite. Her eyes kept darting to different spots in the leaves as she ate, each time convinced she heard or saw something that wasn’t there. She was starting to feel like Tom Hanks in that one movie with the volleyball. She just hoped she could get off the island she’d created for herself before she was certifiable. She needed to find people. Real, live people. 

Lucy finished eating quicker than she’d meant to and sighed heavily, realizing what was next. She spotted a tree that seemed easy enough to climb, but she didn’t have the desire. She weighed the pros and cons of sleeping on the ground again. A conversation she had with herself every night. She knew she should be more worried, especially after the time she’d woken up with a Freak standing over her about to munch on her arm, but she  _ really _ didn’t want to climb anything tonight. She was sore everywhere. 

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there with her hands on her hips deciding where to sleep. It was long enough that it was officially dark now. Which meant dangerous. She groaned to herself loudly before grabbing her rope and making her way over to what would effectively be her bed for the evening.

As soon as she was far enough up, she tied herself tightly in place. She knew it was all meaningless, but she was determined to get  _ some _ sleep tonight. She tried to close her eyes, and just like all the other nights, when she did, she saw the same thing. Freaks. Everywhere. Coming for her. And before she knew it, the warm sun was forcing her awake again, feeling like no time at all had passed. 

She sighed heavily as she ran her hands over her face a couple of times, stretching her arms above her head. She twisted in the middle to crack her aching back before looking around to make sure she was still alone. It didn’t seem like she’d had any visitors last night, so something had gone her way. Made packing easier. 

From where she sat, though, she could see for miles and she found she didn’t really want to extract herself. Maybe, she thought, she could just stay up there and see what happened. The forest had always provided a strange sense of comfort for her, but she couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that she was close to danger either. She could see a huge clearing to her right and she knew that was probably it. Being that exposed wasn’t a position she found herself in a lot and to be there unintentionally even made her want to get as far away as she could. She grumbled to herself as she climbed back down, keeping an ear out for any Freaks that might be lurking nearby. 

Lucy never carried that much with her. Slowed her down. And there was always the distinct possibility it would get her killed, and not just the Freaks either. The few people she’d run into weren’t exactly the cream of the crop, so it wasn’t long before she was back to trekking through the heavy underbrush, murmuring things to herself the whole way .

Maybe it was because she was distracted. Or tired. Or a million other things, but before she could process what was happening, she was completely surrounded by a bunch of Freaks in the middle of nowhere. 

Her heart was hammering away, trying to escape her chest as she heard the telltale groans of the undead as they closed in on her. She knew what she was doing, but there'd never been this many before. And she was the only living person they were looking at. All she knew was this wasn’t going to be how it ended for her. It couldn’t be. She’d come too far. 

She pulled the crossbow off her back slowly. She knew making any sudden or jerky movements would pull their focus and make them move faster. She’d seen it happen so many times. As she nocked her arrow, one of them lunged forward. She had a split second to decide and instead of shooting it, she used the arrow to stab the Freak right through the eye socket. She wasn’t even really thinking, though. It was muscle memory now. Just part of who she was. Fight or flight at its finest. 

The noise it made almost caused her to throw up, but she swallowed the lump in her throat and went back to the task at hand. She used all her arrows and even had to put several down with closer combat styles than she liked, but when it was over, she was the only one standing. That’s what mattered. 

Well, it was her and the guy who was leaning on a tree across from her, like he didn’t have a care in the world. 

She couldn’t be sure he was real. He was propped up casually, just watching her. When she snarled, though, he chuckled. 

“Who the fuck are you?” she hissed. 

“Me? Nobody,” he answered. 

“And you couldn’t have helped, Nobody?” she asked, pulling her arrows out of the different Freaks as she walked around. 

“Nah. I don’t bring people back to camp who can’t handle their shit. Not anymore.”

Her heart skipped a beat. Camp? There were others? Had she finally made it to the Safe-Zone? She forced herself not to get excited by the prospect. She didn’t know anything. And getting her hopes up wasn’t a luxury she could afford. Now or ever. 

“Camp, huh?” she asked, pulling another arrow out of a soft skull. “Where’s that?”

“I’ll show ya.”

She nodded before collecting the rest of her things that she’d abandoned in the struggle. “Well, I don’t go with strange men I don’t know.”

“Daryl.” He offered his hand. 

“Hm,” she answered, taking it after a second. 

It was rough, but a sturdy handshake. Almost as if he meant every single thing he said and he thought before he uttered a word. And, from what little she had gotten from that two second contact, it’d been like this before too. 

“I don’t get  _ your _ name?” he asked, pulling his hand back. 

“Nope. You haven’t earned it yet.”

She meant it to come off as mean, rude even, but it just made him laugh. She knew she didn’t exactly look threatening at 5’3” and 120 pounds sopping wet, but she  _ had _ just killed a shit ton of Freaks by herself. He could show her  _ some _ respect. 

Lucy adjusted her pack, grabbed her bow, and followed Daryl anyway, though. His much longer legs were making it hard to keep up with him, but she didn’t have a lot of choice. This was exactly what she’d been waiting for and it’d basically fallen in her lap. He couldn’t be picky and she didn’t want to be either. She just wasn’t used to not being in charge of every aspect of her life anymore. 

“Where ya from?” Daryl asked after they’d been walking for a minute. 

“Let’s not do that.” She had no idea why she was being so antagonistic. She hadn’t talked to anyone in forever. “Sorry,” she mumbled. 

“Nah, it’s cool. Been by yourself a long time, huh?”

She nodded and they went silent again. She wanted to ask questions. A new one was popping in her mind every couple seconds, but she’d clearly forgotten how to interact with another living being. So, she stayed quiet. 

“Not that much further,” he said, answering one of them for her. 

And just like that, Lucy could hear people talking. It sounded like a lot of people too. She found she was nervous. She’d spent months craving the company of other people, but now that it was here, she found she wanted to turn and run the other way.

No one was screaming or yelling or crying out for help. It wasn’t loud. It was that they seemed happy, almost, and it’d been so long, even before the world went to shit, that she’d experienced happy. If she was being honest, she didn’t know if she would even be good at it anymore. 

“How many people live here?” she blurted out before she could second-guess herself. 

“Umm, I don’t know,” Daryl shrugged. “You can ask Rick, though. I’m sure he does.”

“Rick?”

“Yeah, he’s in charge of this place. Well, most places,” he corrected himself. 

As they got to the edges of whatever this place was, she put her head down reflexively. It was already the most heavily populated people she’d been to in forever. She felt more uneasy than she had in a while too. She knew it was irrational, but she couldn’t stop the way the bile rose in her throat. 

“You okay?” Daryl whispered as they kept up their leisurely place. 

“Yep,” she lied. 

He didn’t ask again, even though she still didn’t look up from her feet, no matter how far they walked, and she found herself grateful. He led her straight to a tent and held up the flap so she could go first. She wasn’t sure what this was or if she should be more wary, but she decided to take a chance. There weren't a lot of options here. It was a few seconds before her eyes were able to adjust to the darkness inside. There was a single lantern on a messy table in the center, but other than that, it was bare. 

“Who’s this?” a gruff voice asked. 

“Don’t know,” Daryl admitted, his voice carrying a teasing tone. 

“You brought someone you don’t know back to our camp?”

“Hey, she can handle herself,” Daryl retorted. “I just watched her take down ten Walkers by herself.”

“Ten, huh?”

She could make out the outline of a man sitting behind that wooden table now, looking up at her curiously from his chair. His beard was completely gray, but his face was much younger than it should be underneath. He was serious, and he certainly wasn’t the age she’d imagined by the sound of his voice. 

“Lucy,” she finally croaked. 

“Rick,” he said, offering his hand. 

She shook it before sitting back on her heels, shifting back and forth. She hated the feeling of being scrutinized like this. They were sizing her up. She wasn’t stupid. 

“And how long have you been by yourself?”

“How’d you know I’m by myself?” she said, crossing her arms petulantly. 

“You… just got a look,” Rick answered, motioning to her whole body. 

She stayed quiet for a minute, her rebellious and stubborn nature taking over for a second. “Umm, I’m not sure. Most of it. I don’t know what year it is or anything, though.”

Rick nodded thoughtfully. “How many Walkers have you killed?”

“Who the hell keeps track of that shit?” she scoffed. 

Rick cocked an eyebrow at her combative nature, folding his arms across his chest too. “And how many people?”

She balked at him, her hands falling to her sides in surprise. Lucy did not know this man. And she could already feel the judgment rolling off him in waves. Her whole body tensed as she readied for a fight when she told him the truth. There was no point in skirting around it. She’d learned that the hard way. 

“Two,” she said in an impossibly small voice. 

“Why?” he demanded in the same tone. 

“Does it matter?”

She looked up at him when she said it, and she hated it, but she could feel the tears in her eyes. Either that wasn’t enough for this group, as had been the case once, or it was too many. 

“Yes,” he answered simply. 

“They tried to, umm…” She stopped to clear her throat, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She hadn’t had to say this out loud and she wasn’t really looking forward to it. “They…”

“I see,” he interrupted. 

“No, you really don’t,” she corrected. 

He stared at her for a second, clearly contemplating her fate. She wasn’t sure what she wanted his answer to be, though. 

“Well, Lucy,” he said, clapping his hands together and making her jump slightly, “let’s get you set up.”

“Set up?”

“I assume you wanna stay?”

“I, uh… yes?”

Rick chuckled for the first time, his eyes crinkling around the edges. “Is that a question?”

“No,” she answered matter-of-factly that time. 

“All right, then, let’s introduce you to some people and then we can find you something to eat. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“I’ll, uh, show her around,” Daryl offered as Rick started to lead her from the tent.

Rick looked at Daryl for a second, his eyebrow raised before he agreed, going to sit back behind the desk where she’d found him. He went straight to whatever they’d clearly interrupted by showing up. She could now see the paperwork spread haphazardly on his desk more clearly, but didn’t stop to take stock of any of it. It didn’t concern her either way. With this many people, it was clear they knew how to keep themselves safe. That was the most important thing. 

Lucy squinted in the sunlight as Daryl held open the flap again and ushered her back outside. He didn’t say anything as they made their way through the campgrounds, but people were eyeing her suspiciously. Not that she blamed them. She was doing the same thing, but much more discreetly. 

They came up to a woman with long, wavy gray hair and Daryl introduced them. Her face was much softer and more kind than Rick’s had been initially. She even found herself smiling, but the movement in her cheeks felt so foreign she wondered if she was doing it right. Then they continued on, Daryl stopping once and a while to offer a name. 

“I’ll, uh, get you a tent,” he said, leaving her in a small clearing by herself. 

He was back quicker than she thought possible, though, holding up different metal poles and a cloth tent. She opened her hands to take it, but he jerked his own back. He did let her help, at least. 

“Now,” Daryl started again, “do I get to know where you’re from?” 

“Umm, right before I was in the Alexandria area.”

“Really?” 

“Yep.” 

“You got pretty far away then?” he asked as he hammered a spike into the ground. 

“I made it to Atlanta before I turned around. Not a lot of stuff that way anymore. I also thought I’d get some answers, but by the time I got there, all of it was gone. All of it that mattered anyway.”

“We all went that way too, but we started at different spots,” he said. “We musta just missed each other.”

Daryl nodded in the same wise and thoughtful way Rick had done, but Lucy could tell he had more experience with being the quiet one. Then they were silent again, concentrating fully on their work. Daryl didn’t seem like the type of man who normally had to carry a conversation. With Rick around that probably wasn’t all that necessary. The fact that he was trying though, was incredibly endearing. She didn’t deserve it. That was for sure. 

“Are we close to Alexandria?” 

“Oh, uh, yeah. Did I not say that?”

She laughed quietly and shook her head. He obviously had the same tendency to think he said stuff out loud that he hadn’t, just like she did. 

“Oh, who’s this?” a voice behind them called. 

When Lucy turned, the woman thrust her hand out. “Maggie,” she said, a huge smile on her face. 

“Lucy.” 

“Findin’ new people all the time, huh? Where’d you come from?”

“Just… around,” Lucy answered, unsure of what answer Maggie wanted. 

“I see. Well, welcome.”

“Thank you.”

“Daryl,” she said, turning to face him. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Sure,” he grunted, standing up to his full height again. 

Lucy took his tools, though he didn’t offer them, and got back to work on building her makeshift home. She forced herself to not listen to their conversation, or what it would mean to sleep somewhere else besides a tree. She probably wouldn’t sleep all that well tonight, but she wasn’t that surprised by that idea. 

When she finished, she stood back, pleased with herself and her work, as she laid her backpack just inside. She didn’t have anything worth stealing, but she didn’t like the feeling of not having it on. It’d become almost a security blanket for her, especially her bow. She felt naked without it. 

“Good job,” Daryl offered behind her. 

“Thanks,” she said quietly. 

“Sleeping bag,” he said, handing it over. 

“Oh, that’s nice. Thank you.”

“Yep.”

“So, uh…”

“Hungry?” he interrupted. 

“What?”

“Are you hungry?”

“Uh, yeah, but I can find something.”

She pointed to the woods that surrounded them and he smirked. She narrowed her eyes for a second, not sure if he was making fun of her or telling her he didn’t think she could do it. Then he motioned toward a larger tent not that far away and motioned for her to follow him. 

“You don’t have to hunt like that anymore,” he said finally. 

“Oh, I don’t mind. I don’t wanna take anyone’s food. I can hunt.”

“Didn’t say you couldn’t.” 

He waited patiently as Lucy wrestled with the idea before she started after him. He stayed just far enough ahead that he could steer her toward the right place, but otherwise he was in step with her. They didn’t say anything else as they walked, like he was just letting Lucy take everything in. She appreciated it, but she couldn’t help but wonder how pointless it was. Eventually, they’d kick her out or she’d get tired of whatever this place was and she’d be gone. She hadn’t given herself permission to trust in so long. 

She noticed he did open his mouth like he wanted to say something more than once, but each time he let it close without a word. She didn’t blame him. She hadn’t talked this much out loud in months. Daryl didn’t seem particularly chatty either. They both clearly had no social graces. 

As they got closer, Lucy could smell the food before she actually saw it. She was shocked by how hungry she really was, and blushed a deep scarlet color when her stomach betrayed her and growled loud enough for Daryl to hear. She’d never been technically starving out there on her own, but several times it’d come close.

This tent was much more open than Rick’s and the natural light streaming in showed Lucy just how much food they had. She reached out to let her hand skim the air above each thing, but made sure not to actually touch anything she didn’t plan on eating with her dirty hands. 

She couldn’t help the tears in her eyes as she picked up an apple and twirled it around in her hands before taking a bite. Lucy groaned as the juices dribbled down her chin and Daryl chuckled. He motioned for her to take a seat at one of the empty tables with him and she had to stop herself from taking anything else. She didn’t like being wasteful and this was going to be one of those times when her eyes were bigger than her stomach. She could come back for more later, or she hoped she could. 

“I, uh, am going to Alexandria later,” he said. “You wanna come with me? See some other stuff? See home?” he tacked on. 

“Oh, uh, sure. I guess. How far away are we?”

“Not too bad on my bike,” he said, giving a noncommittal shrug. 

“Your bike?”

“My motorcycle.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I knew what you meant. How do you still have it, though? There’s, like, no gas left anywhere.”

“Long story,” he said. “We could walk, if you’re scared of ridin’, but it’d take forever.”

“I’m not scared,” she maintained. “I used to have a Forty-Eight… before.”

“Oh, damn. That’s a nice bike.”

“Yeah, I know.” She smiled. “I miss it.”

“Let’s go get it,” he teased. “Is it close?”

“Kinda got dismantled when I got caught up in a bunch of Freaks a long time ago.”

He groaned and she smiled bigger, almost laughing that time. She shook her head and took another bite, letting herself look around again. 

“Do, uh, Walkers, or whatever you guys call them, come up here?” she asked after another second. 

“Oh, no. The closest I’ve seen is those you took down this morning. Most of the time they stay in their herds and stuff. We got people trackin’ ‘em.”

“Oh,” she answered lamely. 

They got quiet again. Lucy found herself averting her eyes each time a new person entered the tent. Most were out before she had time to get antsy, and they all appeared to be on their way to some job. It felt normal somehow, like it was before. 

When she finished, they walked back out into the midday sun and Daryl led her away from the group and her tent. She was tempted to go back and get her stuff, but Daryl promised it’d be fine. She wasn’t sure why, but she took him at his word. She wasn’t sure what had caused it, though, since she hadn’t even been that open with people before the world crashed and burned. 

But she went with it, getting on the back of his bike and moving away from him. She didn’t really want to have to hold onto someone she’d just met, so she settled for squeezing the seat a little tighter with her thighs and leaning backwards. She let the wind hit her face as she reveled in the feel of the way the bike sprang to life beneath her. 

She noticed a bow on the front of his bike, and she couldn’t deny it made her feel better that one of them had a weapon. Even with his comforting words about the Freaks, she didn’t like the idea that they’d have nothing, especially when she had no idea how he’d fare. 

He went faster and faster, letting her pretend like she didn’t have a care in the word or that every damn day wasn’t a fight for her life. And for a minute, she let herself believe it was real. 


	2. Chapter 2

Lucy trudged back to the campground after a long day at Alexandria with Daryl. There was no way at the start of her shit day that Lucy, or anyone else, could’ve anticipated what would’ve happened when she woke up that morning. 

While she was exhausted, it was the good kind, and she found she was also strangely exhilarated. Daryl had shown her everything Alexandria had to offer, and she was still in shock that a place like that even existed anymore. 

There were houses with running water, electricity, and even small children running around without a care in the world. Inside those walls, it was a different world and it was one that was a balm to her overly battered soul. She had convinced herself long ago that everything that even resembled that had disappeared. And somehow, someway, she had stumbled on it with a dirty redneck at her side.  She couldn’t help but smile. 

“Shower was nice, huh?” Daryl asked, both interrupting and reiterating her thoughts on Alexandria. 

“Yeah,” she stated simply. 

He chuckled, “You don’t talk much.”

“That’s not a question.”

“Wasn’t supposed to be.”

“Then what’s so funny?” she asked, pointing out his upturned lips. 

“Nothing,” he whispered. 

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye as they made their way through the dark back toward the campground. Lucy could hear people talking louder and louder the further they went, but she concentrated on not tripping over the many sticks and other debris that naturally littered the ground. That’s the last thing she needed. Being vulnerable wasn’t a position you found Lucy Webster in anymore. Not for a long time. Well before the Freaks had taken over. 

“Hungry?”

“A little,” she offered. “But I’m fine. I remember where the tent is. I can get something later.”

“Come on.” 

His smile was back and he held out his hand, but she just stared at it. They both stopped cold and he dropped it a few seconds after realizing his mistake. Either way, it was nice to have someone be that comfortable around her. It made her feel normal. It was nice  _ not _ to be treated how she always felt. 

Outcast. Freak. Damaged. 

She wouldn’t deny how unfamiliar it was to her, though, to have Daryl there next to her all day. They’d known each other less than 24 hours. Was this how people acted when they weren’t burdened by base survival instincts every minute of every damn day? She found herself wanting to find out and being terrified by the prospect at the same time. 

“We’re doing a bonfire thing tonight,” he said, shrugging. “Could be fun.”

He motioned with his head toward the source of the noise in way of an explanation. They were still stopped between her tent and the bonfire, which she could now see through the trees. She wanted desperately to curl up in a nice, new sleeping bag and drift off somewhere other than in a tree. That’s what she craved, even, but she knew she owed them all more than that. They’d welcomed her and kept her safe in a way no one else had. They had taken in a stranger and that wasn’t nothing. She could stomach at least thirty minutes of short, clipped conversations before she turned in. 

And she  _ was _ hungry. 

“Okay,” she conceded finally. 

Daryl smirked before adjusting his features to display more of what she could tell was his normal passive expression. The lines on his face were set so that they looked much more natural when he was grimacing ever so slightly. 

He turned on his heel and led the way as she pulled the jacket she had on a little tighter around her body. It wasn’t because it was all that cold, but having her arms around herself like that made her feel safe. Lucy had enough knowledge under her belt to show others with her body language that she wasn’t interested in much. Thankfully, since most of the interpretation was subconscious, she didn’t have to worry about being seen as rude. 

Again, just another part of society that Lucy hadn’t thought about in years and had mistakenly assumed would never be coming back. 

Several people looked up at them and smiled. Two or three of the faces Lucy had met earlier, but it was Rick that was watching so closely Lucy felt exposed in some way. She made herself as comfortable as possible on the log others were occupying, and smiled politely as she was handed what looked like a hamburger. 

She eyed it suspiciously before someone answered. “It’s a veggie burger.”

Lucy looked up and searched for the voice until she found the same gray-haired woman from earlier. The one with the bright blue eyes that made Lucy feel at home, and she found herself smiling back at her and waiting expectantly. 

Lucy took a hesitant bite and then another, pleasantly surprised by the taste and texture. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but it wasn’t that. She found she felt instantly better, way less cranky, with food in her stomach. Especially when that food didn’t sit like a rock too. 

She found her smile was more genuine as different people around her tried to include her in their conversations. It didn’t take long either until children were inching toward her. Lucy had always had this problem, though she was sure most people wouldn’t call it that at all. Children always seemed to gravitate toward her without thinking. Like she was the sun and they trusted her for no apparent reason whatsoever. 

“Gracie, come back here,” a male voice called to one of the kids at her feet. 

A little girl that Lucy could only assume was Gracie looked between her and the man across the fire. 

“She’s okay,” Lucy offered. 

Gracie wasted no more time looking at her dad before jumping right in Lucy’s lap. A couple of people chuckled, but most seemed to be waiting to see how Lucy would respond. They had their guards up too, thankfully. She couldn’t trust people that didn’t anymore, but they obviously didn’t think she was too crazy or capable of anything they couldn’t handle because no one outright protested either. 

Lucy let a hand fall to the little girl’s back as she steadied her in her lap, laying the rest of her food next to her on the log. She introduced herself properly to Gracie, which caused the little girl to go on and on about her life in one long spiel. Lucy made sure to smile, gasp, and even laugh when appropriate, and the young girl ate up all the attention. 

Then one child turned into many and suddenly she had two asleep at her feet and Gracie’s head in her lap as all the adults talked about more serious matters. The idea that there were serious matters made her feel better somehow too. The idealistic nature of her day had made her nervous, but they were just protecting the kids. That she could understand. 

After a while, Gracie’s father came over and picked her up. She groaned quietly and he smiled before holding out his other hand for Lucy to take. 

“Aaron,” he whispered. “I’m, uh, Gracie’s…”

“Dad?” Lucy finished for him. 

“Yes,” He chuckled lightly. “And her other dad is around here somewhere. His name is Jesus. We just came over today to help him with the bridge and stuff.” 

“I see,” she said, lowering her voice to match his so they didn’t wake up Lucy. “That’s nice of you.”

He smiled. “Yeah, she gets cranky if she doesn’t see her Papa for a while. And by that I mean once every 24 hours.”

“Oh, that must be horrible,” Lucy joked. “That your kid likes you.”

“Exactly,” Aaron returned, winking at her. “Well, Lucy, it was very nice to meet you.” He got a couple of steps away before he threw another comment over his shoulder. “Hope you stick around.”

Her smile faltered for a second when she realized she wasn’t as good at hiding her true intentions as she’d thought. 

“You know, Gracie doesn’t like most people,” the gray-haired woman offered after a lull in the surrounding conversation. 

“Really? She seemed so…”

“Nope,” Rick interrupted, joining their conversation. “Usually just stays with Aaron or Jesus. Kids she gets along with fine, but not adults. Doesn’t even like me.”

“No one likes you, Rick,” Daryl quipped. 

Rick rolled his eyes and then shrugged his shoulders before walking back toward what Lucy could only assume was his tent. It was too dark outside of the light given off by the fire to be sure. Lucy had way more questions, though, and now she didn’t feel entitled to ask them. She’d been too open, apparently, and now she knew more than she was used to about people she’d just met. The feeling of raw exposure was making her wholly uncomfortable. 

Lucy made sure to yawn as big as she could to signal she was ready for bed, which wasn’t untrue. She’d been ready the minute they’d made it back to camp, and she’d already stayed longer than she meant to, but she didn’t want to seem rude still. She wasn’t sure what it was about these people, but she wanted them to like her and she completely wanted to run away and never come back. The closeness, both physically and emotionally, they provided, had her wanting to run away screaming, but she knew better. Her hang-ups weren’t their fault. They didn’t deserve to be punished for crimes that had been committed a million years ago by someone else. Someone she’d thought had loved her. 

No, that wasn’t fair. But she still needed to keep her guard up. Maybe just not as far up as she was used to anymore. 

Lucy gave a small wave to Daryl as she walked into the darkness and back toward her camp, half-expecting him to follow. She knew she shouldn’t be, but the sadness that crept back into her heart as she ventured into the woods alone threatened to crush her. 


	3. Chapter 3

Lucy let the wind slowly wash over her face and arms. It’d been forever since she had felt comfortable enough to let her eyes just close, but there was something about Alexandria that made her think anything was possible. Not even a week ago she’d been outside the walls, fighting each second just to survive, and now she had her own house, her own bed, and her own stuff. Standing inside the cocoon of safety this place provided made her feel invincible almost. A heady experience, to say the least. 

She opened her eyes again as the sun started to come up leisurely over the rusted steel walls. Even with the fact that her bed was an actual bed, she still spent most nights on the floor, where she was most comfortable somehow. She found it easier to close her eyes, though never for too long. She was always the first one up, and since her and Rick had inadvertently fallen into a routine, she pointed herself toward his and Michonne’s house, ready for her day to begin. 

The side door opened when she was right outside the small wrought-iron gate and he gave a wave as he jogged lightly down the steps. He had the same goofy grin on his face that he had every other morning, and even though it caused her to smile too, it also irritated her. Grated on her nerves even. She didn’t know what he, of all people, had to be that happy about. He was in charge of so much, had so many responsibilities and people counting on him, and he still found time for early morning walks with a woman he’d just met. Lucy still had no idea why he’d taken to her like that, but she always felt better when she kept people close, if only to keep an eye on them. It was easier to suss out their true intentions that way. It was easier for her, somehow, when she inevitably found out the truth. 

It hurt less. 

She couldn't deny he was wise beyond his years, though, and he had given her purpose again, so it was nearly impossible to hate him. Or even find a real flaw. He wasn’t perfect, but as far as the end of the world was concerned, Rick Grimes was a saint. And she knew that Daryl Dixon most certainly would agree with her, in the event she ever said the words out loud. 

“Sleep okay?” he asked, just like he had every morning. 

“Yes,” she lied, just like _she_ had every morning. 

“And the school?”

“It’s good.”

At least that wasn’t a lie. In less than a week, the residents of Alexandria had not only folded her into their lives, but built her a schoolhouse the minute she’d agreed to be the teacher. Rick had basically hounded her from that first bonfire on, and she knew most of that was because of how easily all the kids had trusted her. Rick believed they knew a person’s true nature better than any adult, and under normal circumstances, he’d be right. 

But with Lucy, it was the opposite. She put off some kind of vibe around dogs and kids that said she was an okay person, but really she was broken. They just couldn’t see that in her, and it was only a matter of time before the bottom fell out of this situation. Like it always did. She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but she had decided she was going to _try_ and enjoy herself while it lasted. 

She’d earned that much. 

“Is it like before?” Rick asked quietly. 

“Kind of,” she agreed. “But I taught at a college. It’s going to be a little bit different no matter what, ya know?”

Rick nodded as they continued on. She listened carefully, only hearing birds chirping and other smaller animals scuttering along the forest floor outside the walls. A force of habit. One she didn’t need in here.

“Did you take a look inside yet?” 

He motioned with his head toward the new building on the edge of the protected property. She looked and noticed that more of it was finished than last night when she’d headed home for the evening. At first, she had been shocked by how quickly everything happened around Rick, but now she knew better. It was like he just willed things into existence. He said he wanted a school and a school appeared. The end. 

“Not yet,” she admitted. 

“Come on,” he ordered, holding out his hand for her to take. “That way you can tell me if anything’s missin’.” 

She took a deep breath and then allowed herself to reach out and let him lead her inside. There were only a few steps to the front door, but it felt like three miles. Even though she hadn’t meant to, she had allowed herself to get excited by this thing. Now that she could see that, she knew the only outcome was disappointment, and she wasn't ready. 

Lucy swallowed hard when she made it inside as she was met with a roaring fire from the other side of the room. She wasn’t sure how safe it was with all the wood and paper around, but she wasn’t about to complain. Not when she was getting some semblance of her life from before back. Not when she was this close. 

Rick dropped her hand and let her walk around the one room school building. If anything, it very much resembled schools and classrooms she’d only ever seen in history books or on field trips. There were mismatched desks lined up neatly into rows and different textbooks stacked up on a desk she knew had to be hers in the corner. 

It was clear it was just a bunch of things they had been able to find out in the world beyond their walls, but the sentiment behind it floored her and she fought to keep from crying. 

“It’s okay?”

“It’s perfect,” she gushed. “I mean… it’ll be good. I think it’s nice.”

Rick chuckled. “You know you always do that, right?”

“Do what?” 

“Get excited. Let your guard down a tiny bit, and then the walls come right back up.”

He shrugged to punctuate his sentence, like it was of no consequence to him, but she could tell it bothered him that she didn’t trust him like everyone else seemed to. In reality, she trusted no one, but she wasn’t sure being honest about that would help. 

“It’s good,” she repeated. 

She sighed heavily as she walked over to the empty bookcase she had just noticed. “I just wish I had my old library here. I miss all my books.”

“Make a list,” Rick suggested. “I’m sure Daryl and the guys would find ‘em for you.” 

She felt the heat creep up her neck at the mention of Daryl’s name, but she made sure to turn and be intensely interested in the woodwork that’d been done throughout the room. She knew Rick didn’t miss her schoolgirl reaction, but he was a gentleman enough not to mention it. Or, at least that’s what she was counting on. 

“The kids will probably need the classics,” she mentioned absentmindedly. “To start anyway.”

Then they got quiet again, giving Lucy time to think. Rick was good for that. He always seemed to give people exactly what they needed when they needed it, even when they weren’t aware of it themselves. He really was perfect for this new world. So much so that she had a hard time imagining him in the one before. 

“Know when you wanna start?” Rick questioned. 

She turned back to him and bit her lip. She hadn’t allowed herself to think about that part of the equation, and now she felt ashamed. Lucy was the one person who _should_ know the answer to that question. 

“Umm, I’m not sure,” she conceded. “How many kids or whoever are signed up? Or are you doing sign-ups? Or are we just seeing how it goes and using a few kids as guinea pigs? Or…”

“Whoa,” Rick said, chuckling lightly again, “Whoa. You’re fine. It’s okay. We’ll figure it out. No need to have the date ready to go right this second. We still need a few books, right?”

She nodded, swallowing hard again. 

“Okay, well, that’s fine. Give Daryl your list and I’m sure he’ll have it in no time. Until then, let’s just take it day by day, okay?” 

She nodded again, unsure of how else to respond. She hadn’t expected her anxiety to take hold of her so quickly like that. She wasn’t even really sure what had caused it, but it didn’t matter. It was back and ignoring it wasn’t an option. That’s what had gotten her into more trouble than she’d ever care to admit. 

Rick wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her back out the front door without another word, closing it fully behind them as they walked back out into the early morning sun. Without thinking, she laid her head down on his chest as they made their way down the steps together and she let the feeling of someone holding her for the first time in years envelop her completely. 

It was grounding in a way she hadn’t experienced in a while, and she knew that was the most important thing for getting her heart rate under control. The feeling of her throat closing up was also fading, so whatever magic spell Rick had on her by simply being there was working. 

Daryl cleared his throat suddenly and she jumped at the noise, clutching her chest as her eyes popped open. Rick snorted his laughter at her reaction as she stood up straight again.

“Sorry, I, uh… Sorry,” Daryl said quietly.

He rubbed his neck for a second, obviously uncomfortable being around her for some reason, before he turned and walked away. 

“Did you need something?” she called after him, extracting herself from Rick’s embrace. 

“Oh, uh, no.” 

“Daryl…” Rick called next. 

“Wanna go to lunch later?” he blurted out, turning around slowly. 

She smiled at him and bit her lip again, but for a much different reason. She didn’t want to have to yell for him to hear her, so she jogged a few steps to stand closer to him. She could tell now that he’d been nervous to ask her that, which was silly. They’d eaten together a ton of times since he’d basically rescued her from the woods. 

“I would love to, but I have to, uh, do the school stuff.”

“We can handle it,” Rick interjected, coming to stand next to her again. “And you gotta give Daryl that list of books anyway, right?”

He was standing there with his hands in his pockets like he didn’t have a care in the world, but Lucy could already tell that this was the face he wore when he had a trick or two up his sleeve. He had an ulterior motive for giving her a free lunch period, and she wasn’t sure she liked what it was. The not so subtle wink he gave next left little to the imagination. 

“We could do dinner, though,” she suggested. 

“My place?” he asked, his eyes lighting up. 

“You have a place here?” she asked incredulously. 

She hadn’t known anyone that long, but Daryl wore every bit of himself on his sleeve. Not just his heart. And she knew he wasn’t much for settling down, preferring the nomadic lifestyle over anything else. She couldn’t really see him in a house for some reason. It felt very unDaryl-ish.

“Yeah, uh, right over there.”

He pointed behind him without much enthusiasm and she smiled at him again. “Sure. Dinner at your place sounds nice.”

“Cool. Cool.”

He was trying to act like it wouldn’t have bothered him one way or the other, but she had seen through his facade the minute she’d stumbled on him in the forest that day. A week in this place really did feel like a lifetime ago, and it didn’t help that every single day had been filled to the brim with things to do and people to meet, with Daryl and Rick as her constant. 

“Well, I gotta get teach back to her house to get ready. She’s got a full day of bossing people around,” Rick teased. 

“And you gotta check on your tomatoes,” Lucy joked back. “Like the old man you are.”

Both Rick and Daryl laughed at that remark and she smiled at the sound before letting Rick lead her away again. Daryl nodded in their direction as they made their way to the community garden. 

“I’ll see you later, Daryl,” she called over her shoulder. 

“Yeah, uh, bye. Have a, uh, good day.”

“Thank you,” she waved. 

Rick’s gentle laughter brought her back to him again and she searched his face for an answer as to what was so funny. He shook his head without saying a word, though, as he bent down near the vines in question. 

“What?” she finally asked after a few more quiet seconds. 

“You and Daryl,” he answered simply, still shaking his head. “Are you two really that oblivious?”

“Oblivious? To what?”

“To... whatever is going on. I mean, it’s clear you two like each other, but you’re tiptoeing around it like a couple of teenagers.” His smile faded slightly as he continued. “It’s what I imagine Carl and Enid might act like, if he was still here.”

Her eyebrows furrowed as she remembered the few stories of Rick’s son that he’d shared with her. She knew those little comments were the hardest. Knowing he was gone, especially when confronted with situations like that, made it harder somehow. 

But the worst part, of course, was that Lucy knew she had to distance herself from Daryl as much as possible. She’d have to cancel dinner and anything else they had planned. She couldn’t have him, Rick, or really anybody thinking there could ever be anything between them. She was far too battered emotionally to be able to last much longer faking it like she was each day. Pretending for Rick and everyone was one thing, but doing so for Daryl wouldn’t work. And what was worse was she had no idea how she knew that to be true. It just was. 

But at the end of the day, dabbling with your emotions was deadly, even in a serene place like Alexandria. Lucy had worked so hard to shut that part of herself off, and she had no idea how to turn it back on again. She couldn’t take a chance.

Even with Daryl Dixon.


End file.
